i hold this exterior of trying to attain a perfect normal persona, that everything is okay and everything is fine. But really ? Im insecure, a mess, a bitch, confused, probably insane and terrified. Insecure of myself. A bitch for going crazy and over reacting. Confused at life and its obstacles and events. Probably insane cause I’m an insecure bitch and terrified of what life throws at me.
My exterior is a lie.
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I mean everything I say. I don’t regret anything being said or done. But whats happening, it’s not right. It’s like nothing wants it to be alright. Perfect? far from it. 2 years from now. Do you see us? Working? Living? Happy? I’m holding onto the last thread, so thin and mended so rough. I want this to work, but why is it not.
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Maybe we need a fresh page. A new beginning? Writing in pencil, erase the past, the mistakes. I don’t know, last time that happened did it work? or make it harder? To not be there makes it hard to think and hurts.
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Wanting to be the one to make you happy and to make your life better, yet I’m the one that’s making it… harder? worse? unhappy? I want to fix it but every time I try, I end up making more mistakes and making it harder to erase.
I dont know where to begin, where to start and how to even end it. But all I know is that this time round I am not going out of my way to fix, I am not going to try and reason first, I am not going to put myself through the process again to make things right. This time, its your turn. You figure this out, and if you don’t try and make amends or try to reason like how I would, then I clearly know you intentions and your feelings to things. & then, the end would have written itself.
Chest to chest Nose to nose Palm to palm We were always just that close Wrist to wrist Toe to toe Lips that felt just like the inside of a rose So how come when I reach out my finger It feels like more than distance between us
In this California king bed We’re ten thousand miles apart I been california wishing on these stars For your heart for me My Californa king
Eye to eye Cheek to cheek Side by side You were sleeping next to me—-oohhh next to me Arm in arm Dusk to dawn With the curtains drawn And a little last night on these sheets So how come when I reach out my fingers It seems like more than distance between us
In this California king bed We’re ten thousand miles apart I been California wishing on the stars For your heart for meMy Californa King Just when I felt like giving up on us You turned around and gave me one last touch That made everything feel better And even then my eyes got wetter So confused, when I asked you if you love me But I don’t wanna seem so weak Maybe I’ve been California dreaming In this california king bed We’re ten thousand miles apart I bet California wishing on these stars For your heart for me My Californa King My California King
In this california king bed We’re ten thousand miles apart I been California wishing on these stars For your heart for me My California King
there comes a time in life when people should start to grow up and start fighting their own battles. If you keep asking for someone else helping hand, reality is you wont be able to stand up on your own two feet in the end. You will always want that others person beside you to guide you through your OWN battles.
The only way to really succeed in life is to learn through your own mistakes and battles, to get through it by yourself first and realise whilst looking back on that experience you can say yeah i did that on my own and feel more self worth on yourself.
i don’t know, thats just me. fight your own battles. work through your own mistakes and take hold of your own life cause that’s who in control you. thats who you should rely on more than anything you. you need to find strength on your own before trying to find others.
